My Midlife Non-Crisis

In the last year, I’ve significantly altered my appearance. A couple new tattoos, and quite a few piercings, most of which are visible to the public eye.

I did a year of therapy, I found value in myself for probably the first time ever, and I started working on making my life better for me.

On Wednesday, I met with a paralegal to file a petition to have my misdemeanor expunged from my record because I want to try to get a job in aerospace. I have to wait 12 weeks to find out if the judge approved it.

Right now my life is all about finding the things that make me happy, and finally trying the things I’ve always wanted to do.

I spent the last couple days reading and asking questions, and early next year I hope to get my motorcycle license.

I plan on taking the safety course put on by the CHP and getting my license that way. It’ll give me a crash course in how to ride, ride safely, and will hopefully give me enough of an idea whether I want a bike or a scooter.

Right now I’m leaning more towards a bike, but with either one I think I want something in the 300 to 450 cc displacement range.

Of course this all ties in with paying off debt. At the end of this year, I should be able to pay off my Affirm account and close it.

That will free up $150 a month, and I plan to channel about half of that into extra payments on my smaller credit card balance. The smaller credit card should be about paid off by next December. At that point I should be able to refinance my loan with my bank to include my last remaining card, and hopefully be able to take the money I saved and put a solid down payment on a used bike or scooter and finance the rest.

Tejony Update

Tejony’s wound is mostly healing well. There’s a spot in the middle though that won’t close up, and it’s still oozing a lot of fluid. The fluid is mostly clear, sometimes times 3 with a little blood, and has no odor. But after 2 weeks it shouldn’t still be draining, so he’s on a second course of antibiotics.

I’m hoping it’ll stop draining and start closing up in the center by the time he sees the vet again this weekend but I dunno.

Other than that though, he’s eating, drinking, wants to run and play, and is basically his normal sweet self.

Fuck you, Facebook!

I have had my Facebook account deactivated for all but about 3 months of the last two years. I hate it. It’s too intrusive and I finally decided to delete it.

I made a non-facebook affiliated messenger account, which was fine until I tried to sign in to a second device. I then got a message that my account was permanently banned. I couldn’t make a new account with the same phone number either. I only have one cell phone number.

At that point I had to grab my old account I wanted to delete to all talk to my friends. Ugh.

I set about deleting all personal info from my Facebook profile – changed my name, deleted thousands of photos and tags.

Then I find out that on a computer, or thru the android app, or through my phone browser, I can’t delete any photos that used to be profile pictures. And I can no longer deactivate my account. The option just isn’t there.

I ended up making a new account under an assumed name on Facebook, putting no personal info in it, locking down all the privacy as much as possible, adding the people I want to talk to on messenger, and deleting the Facebook app. No friend requests will be accepted on Facebook and I won’t be joining or liking anything to remain as incognito as possible.

Its super frustrating that once Facebook gets its claws into you, it does not want to ever let go. Grrr!

Poor Tejony

Tonight Tejony was out back, chasing rabbits. He was having a great time. It’s one of his favorite activities.

Then he ran full tilt into one of these.

This resulted in an 8″ gash behind his front leg through all the skin and down to the muscle. I could have put both my hands through it.

Obviously his next action was to get loaded into the backseat of my mom’s truck and off to the emergency vet. He was there until almost midnight, but they got him patched up with a lot of stitches, iv fluids, and meds.

When he got home, my mom and I helped him onto my bed and I put a shirt on him.

I’m pretty sure my mom will be taking tomorrow off work, and I be trying to sleep while kinda keeping an eye on my poor boy.

It was a total freak accident. Nobody would have seen this coming. A literal almost thousand dollar accident. Ugh.

Busy Busy Tuesday

I had a really busy day Tuesday. The pups woke me up at 6am,so I got a whole 4 hours of sleep. Not a great start, but I saw my check came in, so I paid mom rent, and headed into town at 830 to get to the bank when it opened. I withdrew most of the remaining money, deposited about 2/3rds into my other account, and picked up my prescriptions. Amazingly they were actually ready so there was no wait.

From there I dropped off a couple bags of donations at Goodwill.

I paid all my bills, except the phone bills which I had cash for, and drove over to Verizon to find out they don’t open until 11am. Decided to drive over to the hospital and see about donating blood because that usually takes a while. I filled out the paperwork and the lady stuck me, and ten minutes later I was drinking my juice.

I grabbed a chicken sandwich at McDonald’s after that and drank lots of water. Then I went over to Verizon and paid my bills. I’m pretty sure the manager there was flirting with me. He was cute too. I went and put gas in the car next.

I went by Your Favorite Tattoo next because I wanted to ask a question about pricing on a piece of flash I saw when I was in there getting pierced last month. Found out it was affordable, and then this happened.

He’s on the front of my upper thigh and about the size of a deck of cards.

I was tattooed by Charlie G., who also happens to be an apprentice but he’s got a great light hand and his lines and shading are top notch.

I contacted him about adding some other characters to it over the next six months so I’m hoping he says yes. 🙂

After leaving Your Favorite Tattoo, I did some grocery shopping and went home.

Things are Happening!

Yesterday I met with the nice lady at the Department of Rehabilitation and we got things moving. She put in a referral for me with Foster’s, who will put me through the ringer in a few weeks to help find out just what I would be good at. It’s 5 full days of testing, interviews, questions… To check out every aspect of my work ethic, abilities, stamina, and beyond. I’m excited, but I also terrified because Omg what if I curl up and die midway through the testing?

But I’m trying not to dwell on that. In a couple weeks, it’ll happen, and it’s going to hopefully go smoothly.

She also gave me a few leads to follow up on on my own. One is the aerospace program at AVC and I also going to look into what it takes to become a professional piercer.

After that, I went by my therapist’s office to sign some papers, and I agreed to become a member of the advisory committee for the Department of Mental Health. Eek! If it’s too much for me or I hate it, I can always drop out, and it’s only once a month.

Eek!

Yesterday’s Visit with the Piercer

I know, if anyone is reading along, I kinda left you all hanging yesterday with my little screen grab of a conversation with my friend, so here’s what happened.

I set my alarm for 10am because I needed to go to the bank in Palmdale first thing. I checked to make sure my check was in, and then transferred money over to my mom for rent. Ate a breakfast burrito and some leftover steak and headed into town.

I went to the bank, pulled out most of what was left, and headed back to Lancaster. Then I stopped at the other bank, deposited some cash, and went looking for Your Favorite Tattoo, which I knew was on the Blvd but not exactly where. Took a few passes before I saw it but found parking almost immediately outside the front door.

I went inside and it was clean, open, and pleasant. Told the first person I saw who I was there to see and he told me to take a seat. TJ, the piercer, was a few minutes late but once he arrived he went over after-care, asked if I had eaten, had any health problems that might effect him doing the piercings, and if I had any questions. Nope, I know the drill pretty well by now. These would be my 21st and 22nd optional added holes.

He got set up and I asked him to use nitrile gloves because I suspect I have developed a latex allergy. No problems there. Then I got to strip from the waist down and get comfy on the chair – think dentist’s chair with all the up, down, and recline options.

He showed me the jewelry and then had a look at my labia to decide if the preselected rings were a good match fur my personal anatomy and to check for any obvious blood vessels that might cause substantial bleeding if pierced.

Almost immediately we decided to go with larger jewelry which he typically uses for prince Albert piercings. I was a lot happier with the size of these rings than the originally chosen jewelry.

Finally we were ready to begin. He had me lay back with my feet up on the chair, about 8″ apart from each other, with my knees apart. He placed the clamp which was slightly uncomfortable, had me inhale a deep breath, hold it for 3, and then slowly exhale while he pushed the needle through.

It hurt. Oh fuck did it hurt. I didn’t dare move, but I whimpered like a kicked puppy. I gasped. I cursed. And then he was putting the jewelry through.

By the time he was sliding the jewelry through on the second one, I was flying high on endorphins. It still hurt like a bitch, but my brain was kind of numbed to the intensity of it. I still made all the noises though…. Lol.

Then TJ tightened up the balls on my new jewelry, went over the after-care stuff again, and after a few more minutes I had finally stopped shaking and could get up to get dressed.

I gave him my phone to take some photos, and I sent the best one back to him to add to his portfolio. It was an incredibly intense experience but they look absolutely beautiful and I’m super pleased with them. Then I had other errands to run, groceries to buy, and bills to pay, which was uncomfortable but tolerable, and I grabbed a cherry coke to keep my sugar up because I knew when I hit the post-endorphin crash I was going to crash hard and fast.

I managed to stay awake after getting home until about 10pm and then slept like a dead thing for about ten hours. Today they’re still pretty sore but I expect that to fade over the next few days.

What’s Wrong With Us?

I’ve collected a few tweets that highlight things I find myself thinking about – mainly what the hell is wrong with us as a people that these are the things we have to be worried about?

One Year

Somewhere in these next few days marks my first year of being me post-relationship. It’s gone by really fast, and while I honestly like being single more than I like dating, it still feels weird sometimes after an almost 8 year coupling.

In the last year, I’ve used multiple dating apps and attempted 2 dates. The first guy was supposed to meet me at Sharky’s but he stood me up.

The second guy met me for coffee and could not hold a conversation at all. He just made occasional mumbling about his dog. I love dogs. I’m a dog person. But this guy seemed completely terrified of actually talking to me.

I’ve had a lot of guys get crappy with me in chats because they accuse me of playing games when I don’t invite them over immediately. No, I’m just not allowed to have guests. And no, I’m not looking for a hookup, k thnx bai.

I’m not even really actively looking to date. If I find a connection with someone and it’s a good fit and we enjoy each other, great. If not, I’m not all that invested. And if a good thing happens, I feel like I’m ready to be a part of it, but there’s no rush. And that’s okay!

Anyway, yeah, one year also marks the time I’ve been living with mom and her boyfriend. One year of cleaning, purging, and organizing a mess that’s mostly not mine. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I’m looking forward to the day I’m not living here any longer.

Baby steps though. Baby steps.

Sentimental

My cleaning has come to a halt because I’m facing some major sentimentality. I’ve come across a decent sized collection of photography books that were my dad’s  He loved photography. It was a major hobby for him, at least as far back as when I was a tiny little girl.

I’ve gotten rid of so many things over the last few months, and now I’m stuck on these books. I won’t use them – but I can’t seem to load them up in the car either. It’s strange because I’ve never been sentimental about anything. It’s just stuff.

But this is different because this was stuff my daddy was passionate about.