Conversations with Liz

Me: My stupid phone wouldn’t let me type masturbation. I had to fix it.

Liz: Oh what?!

Me: Yeah it helps me say fuck all the time but masturbation? It doesn’t like that word lol

Liz: Double standard phone.

Me: lol yes. I can’t type the c-word for penis unless I want it to say cocktail. My phone is uncomfortable with sexuality.