I did a brave but scary thing this evening.
One of the first people my ex introduced me to while we were together was this guy who physically is totally my type. Turns out he’s really nice, an actual good guy.
We’d see each other at parties and friends house over the next 9 and a half years. He would flirt with me after he had a few drinks, but I never saw him flirt with anyone else. Multiple times we went out in a group and I watched beautiful women try really hard to get his attention and he would never notice.
Fast forward 8 years. My ex and I have split up, and I’m chatting with him online fairly often. Still running into each other socially, at parties, whatever. I like him. A lot. Tried being subtle. Tried being obvious. No idea how he feels except I’m fairly sure he’s attracted to me.
Tonight I sent him a message that said:
“Okay…. So like potentially awkward message time.
I have no idea if you’re seeing anyone, but I’m interested in you, and I don’t know if you’re uninterested or just oblivious. I’ve found you to be attractive since we first met.
I would like to get to know you better and possibly see you romantically. Getting straight to the point here… Lol.
If you’re not interested, that’s okay too. But it’s up to you now. I haven’t got a goddamn clue how this whole dating thing even works.
I hope you’re having a good evening!“
Then I proceeded to panic because I’m a 12 year old girl.
Anyway, long story slightly shorter, he responded, he likes me a lot, but he’s trying to work on some personal issues before seriously dating anyone. This feels legit because his last relationship was a big mess and he’s a very honest person.
He also said he wasn’t missing all my signals, he’s just not good at expressing things sometimes so he’s glad I took the direct route so we could talk about it.
So yeah. I took a risk, did not go up in flames, and maybe it’ll work out to our liking in the future. I don’t think he’s really kinky but he is very open minded and has a curious nature.
I’m sitting here now with some minor fallout from my earlier panic but I know things will be okay, whatever happens.