Birthday

Little Things

I finished my exam, which didn’t take long. I’ll be driving in to turn it in this evening. I know I’m getting a good grade but I’m still curious about my other grades in the class and whether or not I might get a B. A B would make me so happy.

I purchased and ordered yarn for my first sweater. The pattern seems to be more recipe than pattern, so I should be able to easily make a few minor changes. It’s basically a tube (it’s of the shoulder) with a cable across the chest.

I feel so much better in the days since dropping the friend I wrote about before. I’m just so much less stressed and I’m not worrying about making sure they’re okay 24/7. I was basically babysitting them all day while they bitched about how horrible everyone treated them. At first I felt bad because it seems like they actually need a lot of help but I just couldn’t deal with them constantly playing the victim about every little detail in their life. It’s definitely better without them. I can get things done now.

The kittens are growing like crazy and while the dogs are outside during the day the kittens have the run of the house. They’re basically complete little Psychopaths running around, jumping off of things, wrestling, climbing, getting tripped over, and doing all things cat. The littlest one, he’s so cute, has been a little behind the curve in learning to do all things cat. But he’s slowly catching up, wrestling with his brother and sister, and starting to climb and explore. I’ll be sad when they all go outside to become barn cats like we intended from the beginning.

My doggos turned 2 years old on the 25th. It’s hard to believe they’re no longer puppies at all, considering they constantly act like puppies, racing around, playing, fighting, Wrestling, doing all the things that puppies do, pretty much 24/7 unless they’re sleeping or eating. I felt like a really bad dog mom because I totally forgot to wish them happy birthday and I didn’t even give them extra treats that day! The horror of it!

I got a really cool backpack to tote around my stuff for school in the coming semesters. It was a little pricey but honestly good backpacks have always been a little pricey. I remember when I was in high school a JanSport would cost about $45 and that was in the mid-to-late 90s. I especially like the one I got because it has a special pocket that’s padded to hold a laptop, a smaller padded pocket for a tablet, it’s got pockets for water bottles, and as large as enough to hold a couple of binders or books. It’s also my favorite color.

It’s currently 1:30 in the morning and I’m awake because after only getting 5 hours sleep yesterday, I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night only to wake up at 1 a.m. hot, headachy, and having to pee really bad. I went pee, and I’ve cooled down, but I still have the headache. Will likely take some ibuprofen in a little bit. There will definitely be an app in order this afternoon!

Party Time

Last night I went to a party. It was a housewarming + birthday party, followed by a play party. I was a little nervous leading up to things, but I sucked it up like a big girl and went. I had invited a friend to be my +1,but he ended up having to work and wasn’t sure he was brave enough for that kind of party… Lol.

Anyway, the first half went great – I was a little drunk and was talking mostly to a couple I had just met. Attractive, nice, friendly people.

The second half of the party, I ended up playing with the couple. Afterwards I commented that his wife was the first woman I had kissed in like 15 years. He realized then he never asked me if I was even into women – not too big of a deal though because I feel like bodies are just vessels we’re poured into and secondary to other traits of attraction. I’m pretty flexible, though I primarily like men.

I also shared a few wonderful kisses with the hostess, something I wanted to do when I first met her months ago.

I ended up heading home around 4am, got home around 5am, and the pups were super excited to see me. I had a hard time getting them off of my bed so I could get some sleep… Lol.

So all in all, a good night! I’m slightly hung over (just a headache) but I’ll live. And I got invited to another party next weekend.

So Fucking Depressed

So next Sunday is my birthday. I’m turning 37. And with it being my birthday soon, just like every year, I’m depressed. It’s not because I’m getting older- I really don’t mind aging and I look forward to one day having beautiful silver hair. But for me, my birthday is a reminder that I’ve failed. I still haven’t managed to be self sufficient, I still have to spend on others to get by, I can’t even afford a shitty little apartment or trailer. And now I have all this stupid debt because I haven’t been careful with my money so I’m at least 3 years out from being able to start saving to actually do something about my living situation. And it makes me want to crawl under a rock and fucking die.

I’m not suicidal. But I’m so fucking low and on top of the birthday depression, I think my current living situation only adds to it as does the knowledge that my debt has dug a hole I can’t immediately get out of. And all of this is so fucking exhausting.

I really hope by this time next month I’ll have bounced back a bit. Tracy and Jami will be wanting to get together in the coming weeks, which will be a good thing. I haven’t seen friends in months, and some of my friendships are feeling neglected.

My (New) Precious!

So for a couple of months I’ve been seeing this ad on Craigslist. I could tell from the photo it was at a pawn shop, I just didn’t know which one.

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Its a gorgeous guitar. Like super gorgeous. I kept going back to look at it.

The night before last I texted the contact number and asked if it was still available and where the shop was located. I got the address and promised to stop by sometime after I finished up with my other plans on Thursday.

Thursday morning I met Tracy and Jami at Starbucks by Joann’s. The three of us have a love for coffee, crafting, good food, and drinks, and it was Jami’s birthday so we had coffee, chatted a while, then went to Joann’s where we all bought a few items.

Then we migrated to Michael’s, where we wandered the store for ages, picked out a few things, and headed to Medrano’s to lunch. One of things I picked up at Michael’s was these little beaded rings which will make great knitting stitch markers!

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They were on clearance, and I like the colors, so its a big win!

Medrano’s saw us ordering lunch and 2 cocktails each, where we maybe got Jami way more intoxicated than intended, but we had a good time and the waiter was great. After that we drove Jami home, took Jason to pick up the car, and we went our separate ways.

While we were eating, they came out and sang Happy Birthday to Jami and put the hat on her. It was pretty funny! (Sorry its so out of focus- we were all laughing pretty hard.)

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I went to Guitar Center because I needed to pick up an order that came in (just some little stuff) and then headed back to Lancaster to the pawn shop. I had to be buzzed in, and the place was pretty spartan, but that seems pretty standard for the pawn shops I have been in (which is exactly 2 including this one). I asked to see the Peavey bass and a guy took it down off of the wall and handed to me. My first response was holy crap this thing is heavy! followed by hearts streaming out of my eyes. Seriously. Love at first sight. So freaking beautiful. I held it, caressed it, pretended to play it, and then I bought it.

So now she’s sitting in our music room. Mattie offered to let me use his old bass amp, and I talked to the nice folks at Sweetwater (who I cannot recommend enough- they helped me research a product they don’t even carry after I had only spent $5 with them) and on Wednesday I should have a stand, cable, and strap arriving from them.

The strings are free of corrosion and look good, so I am hoping I don’t need to change them anytime soon. I haven’t tried to tune it yet.

I told someone I feel like Goldilocks- trying all the instruments out, looking for the perfect fit.