I had a really weird dream.
My mom and I were with my aunt and uncle and we were supposed to be going straight home but somehow it was 4am, and I had to be at school at 7am and we were in another country. I was super angry and demanded we be taken home. There was a litter of puppies in the car, and my aunt insisted we finish delivering them first.
I have a total meltdown, and then suddenly I was living with my parents in this huge house and my dad installed a bunch of hooks into my ceiling. I decided this was the perfect time to move my houseplants into my room.
But my houseplants were all living in this weird, super hard to get to, dark tower that was filled with scary animals. Animals that had mixed with each other over time and gotten really weird.
I had to use a really really tall ladder to access the tower room, and there was a lock on the door. It was old and I managed to get it open. Two other people were there helping me and first we had to remove a huge python who was guarding the door.
Most of my plants were very dead but a few were still okay so we started grabbing them to be handed down the ladder. Then suddenly I noticed the tower room opened up to the left to a huge paddock. A horse came charging at me, but I stood my ground and smacked it on the butt as it ran by.
Someone else appeared because they was their horse they thought died 20 years ago. They started telling me this story about how they retired the house to their uncle’s land, and at first people use to race go-karts there. Then over the decades they lost popularity and the horses traveled deeper into the hills until they entered the cave system that ended in this paddock.
We finally got my plants out and were making our way back down the impossibly tall ladder when I woke up.
Last night I dreamt that I made a sandwich with pepperoni, salami, bechamel, and lemon and lime slices and it was delicious.
That was after I ran my fastest because dinosaurs (a whole herd of herbivores that looked a lot like Corythosaurus) were chasing me.
While I was eating my sandwich they were opening the doors and windows of the house with their rather prehensile lips so they could come to see where I went.
The other occupants of the house and I were trying to stay still and quiet so maybe they would go away.
I’m going through my Dreamland posts and rewriting the ones that have more than a few short sentences into slightly fuller stories. They’ll be on the new page in my top menu as I add them.
Not all of them will be rewritten because some just don’t have enough material to pull together in anything approximating cohesiveness.
I had two super weird dreams last night.
The first one, Alix and I went to a bar and some guy swapped out my phone, purse and wallet for one that looked the same but didn’t have any of my stuff in them. We meet up with these Asian people, a 17 year old girl and a 30 year old guy. They wrote love letters to me on my arms, and then we decided to go pick up some heroin and head out to a campsite to get high.
The girl got the drugs and we all pulled into this weird car where somehow there were 5 of us and 4 of us were in an open compartment in the back, hanging on for dear life. While we were driving we were doing the heroin, which was used by painting it onto your skin and fingernails. High as fuck and we somehow made it to the campsite.
Once we got there, there were these huge bowl shaped concrete things that were designed for sleeping in. I dove into one with the Asian guy where we had a lot of sex. I don’t remember any details except he had a freakishly thick cock.
There was a noise outside and he went to investigate, and now I was in a room. A naked man, who was a knight, appeared in the corner, with a long pink feather boa draped around his body.
The knights took us captive and into their magical kingdom. Somehow I defeated their Queen and became the new Queen, and lived in a house that was medievil stone work on the outside but completely modern inside. I had all the sexy sex with all the knights.
Sex with the knights was bizarre because as a magical people, their bodies worked a little differently. Along with ejaculating the usual fluids, they also ejaculated tickets that could be traded in for prizes. Kinda weird. Make your man cum, gain prizes!
Then I had a second dream, which while not so wild, was still weird.
My dad was excited to show me something. He had bought me 48 hamsters, though the two largest looked like guinea pigs. He said Halo seemed bored with life. I asked if he got them any food and he said they only need to eat when their teeth hurt.
The hamster pigs were in the feed trailer so I guess they could eat the hay and then I woke up.
I had a dream the other day while napping that was super crazy. I was in high school, but my school was located on a fairgrounds. Everyone hated me. I had no friends, this rich girl constantly attacked me. Life was not good.
I was walking around the livestock barns one afternoon when all of a sudden a huge black bull charged me out of nowhere, threw me into the air, then grabbed me by the head with his teeth. I ended up next to a fence and the bull just kept coming. I thought I was going to die, but then Danny Trejo got a friend to help distract the bull, helped me through the fence, and got me to safety. I had a concussion and several broken bones.
After that I went to the drama room to hide out a while. I saw a friend there and I stayed way too late, missing the bus home. While I was trying to find a ride, someone asked why I didn’t just drive my car home. But I don’t have a car. Except I did. My dad had built me a big purple Trans Am (even though he was dead) and it was waiting for me.
As I approached the car, it wasn’t a car at all. It was a big purple yacht called the Revenge of the Squid with squids carved all over it.
The rich girl who made me life hell claimed the yacht was for her and refused to get off my boat, so I threw her overboard. Then I went sailing with the two people that took care of me. 🙂
I’ve had a couple really out there dreams in the last few days I thought I would share.
A couple days ago, I dreamt that I was at this big gathering, mostly women, and I had gotten there by school bus.
Apparently it was a get to know you mixer where polygamous families could look for a new sister wife. (probably inspired by my recent watching of Big Love)
I was approached by 3 people, who all wanted to know if I was interested in joining their families. One was a request from someone who was a friend when I was a teen (until I found out he was a neo-Nazi) & one was delivered by the mother of the woman who was interested in me. I wasn’t the least bit interested in him but she did get my attention and I agreed to meet for dinner.
The woman was named Amy and she was an Asian Mayim Bialik. Somehow we ended up having sex on the school bus in front of all the mothers. It was weird. It was also surprising because she had a very large penis.
There was also a subplot going on where my shoes kept disappearing. And then I woke up.
The dream I had today was a little wilder. I came out of somewhere to get in my car, but my car was gone. I asked a couple people where my car was, and someone knocked me out and dragged me to their car where upon awakening, I was presented with a mop that was a super computer (and kind of reminded me of Alexa) and told I needed to get home immediately, that this other woman would drive me there.
My friend and I got in the car with her, and as we were approaching my house, we saw the ravine was filled with ice and there was a washing machine race going on. The woman driving us suddenly veered off the road down into the ravine where we discovered a huge party going on. Everything was covered in ice and snow, there was a part of a house (a kitchen with a beer fridge and a living room down the hall) and so many people milling around.
After a few hours I knew I had to get home because something happened to my dogs, and I tried and tried to climb out of the ravine with my mop and a rake. Eventually I succeeded and started trekking my way towards home only to have to pass thru another building floating on bits of ice in a large body of freezing water that was filled with embroidery projects.
I had another really crazy dream.
I went with my grandmother to her dead sister’s house to go through her stuff. I was excited because she did a lot of cross stitch and macrame and I was hoping to score some floss and cords.
When we got there, there were these huge grocery store style chest freezers. And there were large frogs in them. Weird but uh okay.
I’m about done going through stuff. My grandmother is obsessed with finding secret messages hidden in pieces of glass. Everything glass she’s holding up to her eye to look through it. My uncle Ed is there too doing the same thing. There were other people there too.
Then this guy approaches me. He’s cute, polite, friendly. He asks if he can call me tomorrow. It’s really important he can call at a certain time because he can’t stay out of the water too long. I say okay. We try to exchange numbers but when I ask his name, he croaked like a frog. I’m starting to put things together now. Finally I start to give him my number.
Suddenly my grandfather appears and starts screaming at both of us. That I’m too young and naive to get involved in this, that the military is never going to take me away. I’m pissed because I just want to continue talking to this sweet man. Finally after a lot of yelling, everyone disperses from around us. I give him my number.
Somewhere during our conversation, I realize he’s been genetically altered by the military and they want to do the same to me. As my family is leaving the house later, a robot asked me if my name is D. Wild. I said no and keep walking. It has a big syringe full of liquid.
I get back home, which literally means climbing a fence. The next thing I know, all the other people in the house are working to hide me from the military who is now frantically searching for me. One of the (also genetically modified) people is holding me in a feed trailer in the dark, using his scent to mask mine. He’s also caressing my skin (why am I naked?) and I’m getting turned on and trying to be still and quiet.
Somehow they get them to back off and leave me alone. Puppies are given out. A party is planned for the next night. My mom steps in and says everyone has to leave by 8pm at the party.
But everything’s okay now.
Two nights in a row, I’ve woken up from the same dream with a panic attack.
Basically, I was living on the streets, well, on an abandoned barge, and everyone was turning against me. I started plotting to get back at some of the people hurting me, and this sea captain helped me start a chain of catastrophic events, then rescued me. I had the clothes on my back. I was dirty and messy.
Turns out his ship could fucking fly and then we rode it across these roller coaster rails to a fantastic land where other humans didn’t exist. He was king of this land, and the people were a little different. Slightly feline looking, and covered in short fur but basically human in form.
The king adopted me as one of his daughters and sent me to have dresses made and get cleaned up and be made presentable.
I had an immediate attraction to the tailor who would be making my gowns and he stepped in to help me with my transition into their society. We spent all our time together. We fell in love. But elements of my real waking life were there too.
I was still the same weight. And when it came up that while a pregnancy could occur between our two species, it would be detrimental to the female, I said it was okay because I had already been spayed.
We traveled together between their planet and mine, visiting different cities around the world, doing silly things, learning about each other’s culture. We had fun.
But I was worried about really fitting in here. I didn’t fit in on my old life and people abused and hurt me. I wondered if that would just happen here in my new home too.
I’m not sure why this dream, which continued over two nights, was so triggering for me to cause panic attacks. I haven’t had one in a long time. It’s not a fun thing to wake up from. Heat racing, can’t breathe, your body feels out of control.
Thankfully I’ve had enough of them that I go through a mental checklist automatically. Can I breathe normally? Am I actually trying? Am I in physical danger? Am I in a safe place? Is there anything I can realistically do for myself to help this pass quickly?
By the time I get halfway through that I’m usually good. Last night I was barely awake and shaking so hard I almost started crying. But I rolled over, took a klonopin, adjusted my blankets, and breathed slowly and deliberately until I fell back asleep.
Tonight I was awakened too far for that to help so I got up and peed and watched an episode of South Park.
I don’t know if this anxiety is tied in to the date or something else. The 21st is the 9th anniversary of my Daddy’s death.