Frogman

I had another really crazy dream.

I went with my grandmother to her dead sister’s house to go through her stuff. I was excited because she did a lot of cross stitch and macrame and I was hoping to score some floss and cords.

When we got there, there were these huge grocery store style chest freezers. And there were large frogs in them. Weird but uh okay.

I’m about done going through stuff. My grandmother is obsessed with finding secret messages hidden in pieces of glass. Everything glass she’s holding up to her eye to look through it. My uncle Ed is there too doing the same thing. There were other people there too.

Then this guy approaches me. He’s cute, polite, friendly. He asks if he can call me tomorrow. It’s really important he can call at a certain time because he can’t stay out of the water too long. I say okay. We try to exchange numbers but when I ask his name, he croaked like a frog. I’m starting to put things together now. Finally I start to give him my number.

Suddenly my grandfather appears and starts screaming at both of us. That I’m too young and naive to get involved in this, that the military is never going to take me away. I’m pissed because I just want to continue talking to this sweet man. Finally after a lot of yelling, everyone disperses from around us. I give him my number.

Somewhere during our conversation, I realize he’s been genetically altered by the military and they want to do the same to me. As my family is leaving the house later, a robot asked me if my name is D. Wild. I said no and keep walking. It has a big syringe full of liquid.

I get back home, which literally means climbing a fence. The next thing I know, all the other people in the house are working to hide me from the military who is now frantically searching for me. One of the (also genetically modified) people is holding me in a feed trailer in the dark, using his scent to mask mine. He’s also caressing my skin (why am I naked?) and I’m getting turned on and trying to be still and quiet.

Somehow they get them to back off and leave me alone. Puppies are given out. A party is planned for the next night. My mom steps in and says everyone has to leave by 8pm at the party.

But everything’s okay now.

Panic Dream

Two nights in a row, I’ve woken up from the same dream with a panic attack.

Basically, I was living on the streets, well, on an abandoned barge, and everyone was turning against me. I started plotting to get back at some of the people hurting me, and this sea captain helped me start a chain of catastrophic events, then rescued me. I had the clothes on my back. I was dirty and messy.

Turns out his ship could fucking fly and then we rode it across these roller coaster rails to a fantastic land where other humans didn’t exist. He was king of this land, and the people were a little different. Slightly feline looking, and covered in short fur but basically human in form.

The king adopted me as one of his daughters and sent me to have dresses made and get cleaned up and be made presentable.

I had an immediate attraction to the tailor who would be making my gowns and he stepped in to help me with my transition into their society. We spent all our time together. We fell in love. But elements of my real waking life were there too.

I was still the same weight. And when it came up that while a pregnancy could occur between our two species, it would be detrimental to the female, I said it was okay because I had already been spayed.

We traveled together between their planet and mine, visiting different cities around the world, doing silly things, learning about each other’s culture. We had fun.

But I was worried about really fitting in here. I didn’t fit in on my old life and people abused and hurt me. I wondered if that would just happen here in my new home too.

I’m not sure why this dream, which continued over two nights, was so triggering for me to cause panic attacks. I haven’t had one in a long time. It’s not a fun thing to wake up from. Heat racing, can’t breathe, your body feels out of control.

Thankfully I’ve had enough of them that I go through a mental checklist automatically. Can I breathe normally? Am I actually trying? Am I in physical danger? Am I in a safe place? Is there anything I can realistically do for myself to help this pass quickly?

By the time I get halfway through that I’m usually good. Last night I was barely awake and shaking so hard I almost started crying. But I rolled over, took a klonopin, adjusted my blankets, and breathed slowly and deliberately until I fell back asleep.

Tonight I was awakened too far for that to help so I got up and peed and watched an episode of South Park.

I don’t know if this anxiety is tied in to the date or something else. The 21st is the 9th anniversary of my Daddy’s death.

Mr Nice Guy

Another word dream time here today!

I dreamed I was still with dumb ass, but we lived on the beach in a nice house. We also had a smaller, less nice house behind it. My craft space was in the less nice house and I wanted to move it to the main house and make some changes to the room.

I wanted to paint the room a soft orange, put up a huge square mirror with a large fancy goldfish on it, install custom shelving to hold my media stuff… And he was all on board with buying furniture, helping me hire people to do the work, everything. It was surreal because he sure as hell was never that helpful or interested in making me happy in the time we were together.

I also did yoga every day in a fancy high-end studio in this dream.

Critters!

I had another really weird dream.

I was with friends (my high school friend’s older sister Anna? A blonde woman?) and we took a road trip to visit some of her friends way out in the middle of nowhere.

There was this guy who wouldn’t wear clothes except underwear and he had some mental things going on. He hated being touched too but like he liked me enough to snuggle me. So we were snuggling for like 3 days and nights, nonstop.

Anna and the blonde woman had dropped me off there and left, but eventually Anna and the other girl came back and they were teasing him about having needs and then we all four left in the car.

But then it started storming and all of a sudden a portal opened and all this blackness liquid evil came pouring out along with huge monsters that were swallowing up everything. They looked like the things from the movie Critters, and were big enough to swallow a bus whole.

We were lucky enough to float to relative safety in our car, and then I woke up.

Family Christmas

Woohoo! So many weird dreams this last couple weeks!

I was at an extended family Christmas celebration. It was me, all my aunts, uncles, cousins… And my friend D. I don’t know if we were together & that’s why he was there, but he was part of the family.

We had a meal, and I was doing the dishes afterwards when it was suddenly time fur Star Wars hide and seek. And we were in a huge mansion so so many places to hide! We were all in costume.

Eventually we all got caught and we returned to the living room, where we all had some red wine and sang Christmas songs together. D was ensconced on a couch surrounded by my family’s children and looked super happy.

The whole dream wasn’t too weird but it felt absolutely surreal.

Night with the Living Dead

Another crazy dream this week, folks!

This time, my dead friend Chris just showed up at my house in the middle of the night. Not even a phone call first. I was shocked but invited him in even though I wasn’t allowed to have guests.

He had lost a ton of weight while “dead” and while I still recognized him, he was like another person.

We ended up having sex… But I could barely feel him even though he was pretty big. And he didn’t know how to kiss – he was a drooler. There’s nothing worse than a drooler!

My mom kept walking in on us acting disgusted and then she started parading random people through the bedroom too. Most of them were Rafael’s extended family and they all wanted to shake hands.

We eventually finished having sex and he made all these weird mechanical spurting noises when he finished, like he was a machine. It was bizarre.

Then I woke up.

Nap Time Dreamin’

I took a nap this afternoon. I had a dream that I was friends with Shaq’s maid and went to his house with her.

Shaq and I immediately hit it off. Suddenly we’re dating. But Omg. His house was custom everything…. For his height. I couldn’t even get myself a glass of water because I couldn’t reach anything. Made me mad in my dream because his big dumb house rendered me helpless…😂.

Chris Hemsworth

Crazy dream time, guys!

I was on this huge mall planet on a vacation with my mom for 2 weeks. But 2 weeks anywhere can get boring, and a giant mall planet definitely can. I got 4 new tattoos. I knew everyone. I was ready to redecorate the camp bathroom. I finally ditched my cell phone and ran off with a bored couple (woman and man) for some consentual non-consent play, abduction play, paired with shoplifting, a road trip and some wild sci-fi twists I don’t really remember.

Then I was literally grabbed out of the back of the van by alien gods who were going to kill me. They failed the first time so now they were gonna do it for real. I was terrified.

Then Thor. Motherfucking glorious beautiful Thor dropped out of the heavens and fucking saved me. It was all a plan to surprise me for my birthday. Chris Hemsworth then stripped out of his Thor costume and we went jogging and then swimming and then I woke up.

I’ve never been so disappointed to wake up. He was amazing. And gorgeous. And nice. So fucking nice. Omg.

Crazy Dating Dream

I had the weirdest dream.

I was asked out on a date by Chris (no one I know in real life but that was his name) and I said yes. But my mom only allowed me so many points per day to spend how I liked, so I had to decide all the way down to how much kissing if things went well. I got it figured out though and was ready to do this thing. My mom informed me if we wanted to make out it had to be in the light by Tiffany’s car. Who is Tiffany? Why do we have her car?

Anyway, then I got word this other guy (too much money, spoiled, demanding, no social skills) was going to ask me out. Obviously I was going to say no.

I was sitting on a public lawn on the Blvd in a spinning rolly chair when he approached. He demanded I come closer. I refused. He demanded someone bring me closer and even offered them $100. They refused.

Eventually he drags me in my rolly chair onto the street and there’s a slight hill. I give myself a little push and start rolling down the hill. He runs to keep up, trying not to spill his precious glass of brandy.

He’s angry and getting angrier. I’m laughing. Eventually he catches hold of my chair and demands I go out with him. I laugh in his face and tell him no and why. He gets so angry he vomits all over me. I punch him in the nose and head into the gay bar we’ve ended up in front of to use the bathroom to clean myself up.

I realize while in the bathroom that I’m having a hard time standing still. I look down and I’m wearing roller skate. There’s a full flight of stairs going down from the corner of the bathroom and I sit down on them to change into regular shoes. I’m a bit cleaner but I’m worried because I can’t go home to change and my date with Chris is in a few hours.

Second Coming of Christ

Oh sweet Cthulhu don’t let this be me!

I fell asleep super early tonight (and without the help of meds) and had a crazy dream that I was the second coming of Christ. Everyone found out because I guess I wrote a song or poem or who fucking knows what that told everyone just who I was.

And this church full of crazies wanted to get hold of me and crucify me. I obviously wanted none of this, so I escaped. Multiple times. In weirder and weirder ways. I stabbed someone to death with my brand new Gingher sewing shears (Omg I would never! Those blades are sacred!) and at one point a church defector who could fucking fly helped me get away.

Then an older guy gave me the mini tool kit and his souped up, all terrain, amphibious lawn mower and I jumped on, hauling ass across the county. Did I mention this thing could also fly?

I had just stolen a set of earrings (a girl has to look her best when running for her life!) from a fish farm when I peed myself in my dream because there’s no time for potty breaks.

Believe you me I woke up fast afraid I had actually peed the bed. Whew! Nope! But I got up and peed and took my meds anyway.