dreams

Critters!

I had another really weird dream.

I was with friends (my high school friend’s older sister Anna? A blonde woman?) and we took a road trip to visit some of her friends way out in the middle of nowhere.

There was this guy who wouldn’t wear clothes except underwear and he had some mental things going on. He hated being touched too but like he liked me enough to snuggle me. So we were snuggling for like 3 days and nights, nonstop.

Anna and the blonde woman had dropped me off there and left, but eventually Anna and the other girl came back and they were teasing him about having needs and then we all four left in the car.

But then it started storming and all of a sudden a portal opened and all this blackness liquid evil came pouring out along with huge monsters that were swallowing up everything. They looked like the things from the movie Critters, and were big enough to swallow a bus whole.

We were lucky enough to float to relative safety in our car, and then I woke up.

Family Christmas

Woohoo! So many weird dreams this last couple weeks!

I was at an extended family Christmas celebration. It was me, all my aunts, uncles, cousins… And my friend D. I don’t know if we were together & that’s why he was there, but he was part of the family.

We had a meal, and I was doing the dishes afterwards when it was suddenly time fur Star Wars hide and seek. And we were in a huge mansion so so many places to hide! We were all in costume.

Eventually we all got caught and we returned to the living room, where we all had some red wine and sang Christmas songs together. D was ensconced on a couch surrounded by my family’s children and looked super happy.

The whole dream wasn’t too weird but it felt absolutely surreal.

Night with the Living Dead

Another crazy dream this week, folks!

This time, my dead friend Chris just showed up at my house in the middle of the night. Not even a phone call first. I was shocked but invited him in even though I wasn’t allowed to have guests.

He had lost a ton of weight while “dead” and while I still recognized him, he was like another person.

We ended up having sex… But I could barely feel him even though he was pretty big. And he didn’t know how to kiss – he was a drooler. There’s nothing worse than a drooler!

My mom kept walking in on us acting disgusted and then she started parading random people through the bedroom too. Most of them were Rafael’s extended family and they all wanted to shake hands.

We eventually finished having sex and he made all these weird mechanical spurting noises when he finished, like he was a machine. It was bizarre.

Then I woke up.

Nap Time Dreamin’

I took a nap this afternoon. I had a dream that I was friends with Shaq’s maid and went to his house with her.

Shaq and I immediately hit it off. Suddenly we’re dating. But Omg. His house was custom everything…. For his height. I couldn’t even get myself a glass of water because I couldn’t reach anything. Made me mad in my dream because his big dumb house rendered me helpless…😂.

Chris Hemsworth

Crazy dream time, guys!

I was on this huge mall planet on a vacation with my mom for 2 weeks. But 2 weeks anywhere can get boring, and a giant mall planet definitely can. I got 4 new tattoos. I knew everyone. I was ready to redecorate the camp bathroom. I finally ditched my cell phone and ran off with a bored couple (woman and man) for some consentual non-consent play, abduction play, paired with shoplifting, a road trip and some wild sci-fi twists I don’t really remember.

Then I was literally grabbed out of the back of the van by alien gods who were going to kill me. They failed the first time so now they were gonna do it for real. I was terrified.

Then Thor. Motherfucking glorious beautiful Thor dropped out of the heavens and fucking saved me. It was all a plan to surprise me for my birthday. Chris Hemsworth then stripped out of his Thor costume and we went jogging and then swimming and then I woke up.

I’ve never been so disappointed to wake up. He was amazing. And gorgeous. And nice. So fucking nice. Omg.