Daylio App

I’ve tried a few mood tracking apps but never stuck with any of them, or really loved them. A few days ago I found Daylio. I love it. It’s freaking genius and you can record so much information in a few seconds with just a couple taps of your screen.

Here’s a few screen grabs from the app. I did pay for the upgraded version to get all the features so the free version doesn’t do all of this, but it’s a couple bucks well-spent I think.

This is the overview screen. You can see what your day’s mood was and what activities you marked off. You can also see any notes you made on that day.

This is from the settings menu. You can add new moods, activities, and change the time of day the app reminds you to record your day. I have it set for 8pm but you can easily edit entries later if you’d like, or even make multiple entries on one day.

In the upgraded version, you can add new moods. I’ve added a few beyond the basic 5 it comes set up with.

You can also add activities to the app. These could be anything and there are tons of icons to choose from.

In the paid version, there’s also an option to export your moods and activities into a file so you could easily share how you’ve been doing with a health care professional.

Basically, I love this app. It’s easy to use, even easier to change to suit your needs, and so quick to input your day. And it’s a great way to keep track of how you’re actually spending your time each day!

My Success

My therapist asked me to write about my own success story as a kind of graduation out of one on one therapy. To start with how I felt when I started with her a year ago, and end with how I feel about myself today. This is what I wrote.


My Success

A year ago I started therapy. I was anxious, even scared, about what it would be like. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t bathing, or sleeping well, or putting on clean clothes. I worried about everything. I had just broken up with my now ex-boyfriend and my entire world was upside down. I had to move back in with my mom and I didn’t want to. I was worried about living with her because we didn’t have the best relationship when I was a child.

I learned pretty quickly that my therapist was non-judgemental, and open to discussing whatever I needed to talk about that week. She gave me a safe space to not worry about what might be thought of me, and to reflect on myself with her gentle guidance. At the same time, I started doing things that let me feel in control of my body, since I couldn’t control anything else in my life right then. This took the form of several piercings, some easily visible, some more intimate. I changed my hair. I started wearing make-up more often. I showered. I put on clean clothes.

I got a puppy, and I started cleaning the house. I slowly stopped worrying about the things that had bothered me- if my pup was safe, if I was safe, if I would have a place to live. My piercings became less frequent, though I still got a few new ones, as well as a tattoo. The word WORTHY on my foot. Because I am.

I learned to look at things that had happened to me in a different way. My mom did the best she could for me. Not all the bad things that happened to me as a child were her fault. She loves me and thinks I’m just fine the way I am. Realizing that made a big difference in how I felt living with her and her boyfriend, and things got better.

I realized my ex was even more of a self-centered, bullying, and verbally and emotionally abusive asshole than I had let myself see before we broke up. Good riddance to bad garbage. I stopped talking to him completely and blocked him on social media. There was nothing good he brought into my life. I felt good about that.

All of these changes, and talking about these things while my therapist reframed them for me to consider made me see I am worthy of my own love and affection. I am worthy of others’ love and affection. I am worth working on to become a better, strong, more emotionally secure person. I’m worth taking care of. I am, all of me, worth it. I’m smart. I’m capable. I’m a good craft artist and a great dog mom. I can and do learn new things all the time. I can take care of myself and I can be my own success story. I am not a failure.

I AM WORTHY.

So Fucking Depressed

So next Sunday is my birthday. I’m turning 37. And with it being my birthday soon, just like every year, I’m depressed. It’s not because I’m getting older- I really don’t mind aging and I look forward to one day having beautiful silver hair. But for me, my birthday is a reminder that I’ve failed. I still haven’t managed to be self sufficient, I still have to spend on others to get by, I can’t even afford a shitty little apartment or trailer. And now I have all this stupid debt because I haven’t been careful with my money so I’m at least 3 years out from being able to start saving to actually do something about my living situation. And it makes me want to crawl under a rock and fucking die.

I’m not suicidal. But I’m so fucking low and on top of the birthday depression, I think my current living situation only adds to it as does the knowledge that my debt has dug a hole I can’t immediately get out of. And all of this is so fucking exhausting.

I really hope by this time next month I’ll have bounced back a bit. Tracy and Jami will be wanting to get together in the coming weeks, which will be a good thing. I haven’t seen friends in months, and some of my friendships are feeling neglected.

Cucumber Cleanse – The Latest WTF!?!

So Dr. Jen Gunter, our favorite “don’t put that in your vagina” advocate, posted this on her blog.

Apparently (and my Google-fu confirms) its now a thing to peel a cucumber, and insert it into your vagina with an in-out twisting motion for twenty minutes to “cleanse” the vagina.

Um… how about no. The vagina is self-cleaning and there are a million reasons why you should not do this. But apparently some vagina owners still need to be told that. Ugh.

So Many Things

Where to begin? Sunday night mom suddenly got really dizzy and was throwing up. Rafael took her to urgent care and they sent her to the ER. Turns out she had a fucking aneurysm. She spent a few days in the hospital, and was released Tuesday evening after the bleed stopped on its own.

Tuesday afternoon I went to ukulele club. I played a little and sang a bit but with everything with mom, my heart wasn’t totally in it.

I rescheduled my bass lesson this week for next week because I haven’t had time to practice.

Star, mom’s big dog in the house, had 12 puppies last night. Her first litter. Don’t get me started on the whole spay and neuter thing – if they were my dogs, it would have happened a long time ago. I don’t believe in breeding. One of the puppies was dead, but 11 is still a big litter.

Next Tuesday I have an appointment with the piercer at Psycho City to get my nipples done. It’s kind of a bucket list thing, though I’m really nervous about it – piercings freak me out just thinking about them, but I’m feeling brave right now.

Just for fun rock I wouldn’t be upset if she said yes, I asked my mom to go with me. It’s pretty freaking funny.

Good News!

After finding out about my additional diagnosis, I spent the next 24 hours or so wracked by intense anxiety. I’m honestly not sure if that was what brought it on or not, but it was rough. I wanted to do anything to change how I was feeling, but Liz convinced me not to do anything (at least not make any decisions except to possibly take a Klonopin) until the anxiety had passed.

The next day I woke up sick. The cold Mattie brought home last week found its new home in me and ugh. I felt like death warmed over. But that’s all crappy stuff.

The good news is I got a letter from Social Security and they are reinstating my SSI payments and will review me again in 3 years. I’m also feeling a lot better today, so that’s good too. 🙂

Hyster- Herster- What?

The removal of a woman’s uterus is called a hysterectomy and not a hersterectomy because hyster- is from the Greek word for uterus. Also, women do not gush blood from an open wound between their legs for a week and would be hospitalized if they were men. No. We’re not magic or somehow super amazing mysterious creatures who can bleed horribly for 7 continuous days and not die.  Menstrual fluid is mostly sloughed tissue from inside the uterus with comparatively little actual blood and the majority of women lose less then a pint during their entire cycle.

It’s really not that amazing. You were married for twenty years and had two kids with your wife. How do you not know that? This is very basic human biology that you have no excuse for not knowing.

You Wanna What To My Labia?

This takes the cake for the most ridiculous thing I’ve read this week.

Like I’m sitting here with my brain spinning and wondering WTF I just read.

To paraphrase, a chiropractor who does not understand female bodies at all, wants to market a lipstick to glue your labia minora together to prevent menstrual blood from escaping until you go pee… Then your urine magically releases the glue and the blood flows out into the toilet.

I have so many questions! Like what if my labia minora aren’t robust enough to be glued together in a seamless fashion? What if I leak urine throughout the day and break the seal? What if I have heavy clotting? But mostly I just wonder if this man has seen more than one twat in his lifetime… Because we’re all delightfully different.

And there’s this description from the website :

When applied to the labia minora, it creates a temporary seal to retain menstrual fluids inside until urination. The urine instantly releases the seal and everything washes away into the toilet. It’s safe and secure for the user. Mensez is based on the theory that modern bathing habits, while helpful in most respects, wash away some protective bodily compounds that previously helped control menses (as discharge from the uterus at menstruation is known).

So basically if we don’t bathe, according to this guy, our vaginas would be self-sealing… Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Thorough wiping after urination, sex, masturbation, they would all wreck  that seal.

“Hey Barbara can I borrow a tampon? I forgot my lipstick and I really have to pee.”

Pokemon Go! (Damn it!)

On Sunday night I downloaded the Pokemon Go! app because I was curious. I’ve never had any interest in Pokemon and really don’t play many of the popular games besides Words with Friends. I immediately caught a creature on the back porch and another one in the backyard. It was almost midnight so I went to bed.

 

Monday I decided to try to figure the app out a little more and find out what Pokestops were and how they worked. There’s like 5 Pokestops within 4 blocks of home, and about fifteen of them just a little further away on the Blvd. On the Blvd alone, its easy to pick up as many as 70 pokeballs in about half an hour, without even hitting all the stops.

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By Monday afternoon, I had walked almost 10,000 steps, was on my way to hatching my first egg, and I was tired but eager to go out and do more. I may have also pulled into a few parking lots while I was out running errands to spin Pokestops that were along the way.

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Tuesday and Wednesday I also logged about 10k steps, and Thursday I did about 7k. Today, Friday, it all caught up with me. I was so sore it was keeping me awake despite taking a bunch of ibuprofen, and I slept most of today. But my muscle aches are almost entirely gone so my next day of hunting will be more pleasant for sure.

We’re going to a party Saturday night, so my hunting to be will have to be in the morning tomorrow if at all. I may also take Sashi on a walk if I get up before the pavement gets too hot for her paws.