• You Know What Sucks?

    November 15, 2019 /

    Being so fucking broke you can’t just buy toothpaste. I am so close to paying off the smallest chunk of my debt, which is great, but then I need to borrow to buy things like toothpaste, tampons, other personal items.

    So stupid that this shit is so expensive. Thankfully next month I should have quite a bit more wiggle room in my budget if I just pay minimums on everything.

    I was planning to pay something off in full next month but I don’t think that’s going to happen with Christmas sliding in soon. I can’t believe it’s already freaking November! The middle of November even. Where did this year go?

    I’ve got my mom covered for Christmas, but I have no idea what to buy anyone else. I did see a cute little item Tracy would enjoy that’s inexpensive, but beyond that? And I don’t have time to make things this year at all with school taking up most of my time.

    Sometimes I really hate the winter holidays…

    Eta… The reason things are so right this month is because I had multiple extra expenses. My phone needed to be replaced, and that was an extra $45 and there’s the fee for the craft event I’m doing in a few weeks at another $30. I know $75 might not be a lot for some of you but for me it really is a lot.

    I did sell a few things and am awaiting the deposits for them which will help but that won’t come in until next week.

  • Weight Watchers & Points vs Calories

    April 28, 2019 /

    I’m trying to trust the process but I also have a big question. Here we go.

    My issues have always been with portion control. I’m good at eating mostly healthy foods. I don’t eat much bread, rice, pasta, heavy carbs in general. If I don’t eat sweets, I don’t crave them. I drink 85% plain water, and a lot of it at that.

    So even though I’m only one week in, I’m finding its super easy to have eaten 2000 calories of healthy food in a day but only spending 15 or 20 of my 39 daily points.

    I looked up my BMR (basil metabolic rate) and according to the internet, I need about 2600 calories a day to maintain my current weight (310lbs).

    So where do I draw the line, so to speak? Eating all my daily points seems like an excess of food. I’m not going hungry. But it just seems like the free foods make this too lenient. I feel like I’m cheating their system without even trying. The old system has a clear relationship between points and calories but with this system, the relationship is very unclear.

    Today was more in line with what they want (I got the blue dot). But I also decided to track in a second app that counts calories at the same time.

    I feel like I have literally been eating all day today. I haven’t, but I mean I had mostly healthy foods plus a little junk. That junk is the only reason I got my blue dot today.

    I’m going to track in both apps for the 3 months I agreed to commit to WW and see where things are at that point.

    Eta…. Basically I’m seeing that if you don’t eat a lot of junk food or carb-dense foods, you’re going to cheat the program just by eating generally healthy foods. And we all know cheating the program doesn’t work.

    I posted this query in a few places and I caught a lot of flack from WW fans who oddly enough mostly agreed that 1) the plan is always right, and 2) put need to track calories in order to succeed.

    Tomorrow I’ll be calling to see what it will cost me to cancel my subscription. The biggest selling point of Weight Watchers has been that you could still eat the foods you love, but apparently that’s not true.

  • Weight Watchers Redux

    April 24, 2019 /

    I joined Weight Watchers this morning. It helped me lose a lot of weight before and I really need to do it all again. I hurt. My body isn’t strong like it was. I’m tired all the time. I have pretty bad sleep apnea because of my weight. I can go on and on.

    I joined up, downloaded the app, and logged in. I input my height and weight. I started tracking my food.

    Later tonight, I was browsing the app in more detail and discovered my weight was listed at almost 700 pounds! Apparently when I input my weight in pounds, it registered as kilograms, then converted back to pounds. Took a few minutes to fix it but it explained why my points allowances seemed so generous.

    I logged my steps and the stair climbing I did today, which earned me a whole 3 points. That’s basically nothing but I know I can do better.

  • My Body Is Tired

    March 18, 2019 /

    I’ve been tracking my steps and the flights of stairs I climb since I started school. My steps are up about 300% but still nothing to brag about. I climb 2 flights of stairs in Tuesdays and 5 flights on Thursdays.

    I did a short yoga routine earlier this week.

    I did a 3 day event as a vendor this weekend, most of that time being perched on my piano bench.

    My core hurts. I’m tired. I’m going to bed.

  • Post Pussy Piercing Peering Anxiety

    March 2, 2019 /

    It’s been about 4 years since I have had a PAP smear test done. And in the meantime I’ve gotten quite a few body mods, including 4 genital piercings.

    I was finally scheduled for a PAP but then I started having all the anxieties. I love all my mods but I always feel extra self conscious about my doctors seeing them.

    Yesterday I arrived at my appointment, was ushered into the exam room, and got undressed. The nurse came in, plus another lady, who introduced herself as an intern working under the nurse and that she would be doing my exam.

    She didn’t even bat an eye at my downstairs decor. All that worry for nothing.

    Now I just have to wait for my results, which I fully expect to be in the realm of normal.