Second Coming of Christ

Oh sweet Cthulhu don’t let this be me!

I fell asleep super early tonight (and without the help of meds) and had a crazy dream that I was the second coming of Christ. Everyone found out because I guess I wrote a song or poem or who fucking knows what that told everyone just who I was.

And this church full of crazies wanted to get hold of me and crucify me. I obviously wanted none of this, so I escaped. Multiple times. In weirder and weirder ways. I stabbed someone to death with my brand new Gingher sewing shears (Omg I would never! Those blades are sacred!) and at one point a church defector who could fucking fly helped me get away.

Then an older guy gave me the mini tool kit and his souped up, all terrain, amphibious lawn mower and I jumped on, hauling ass across the county. Did I mention this thing could also fly?

I had just stolen a set of earrings (a girl has to look her best when running for her life!) from a fish farm when I peed myself in my dream because there’s no time for potty breaks.

Believe you me I woke up fast afraid I had actually peed the bed. Whew! Nope! But I got up and peed and took my meds anyway.