Chris Hemsworth

Crazy dream time, guys!

I was on this huge mall planet on a vacation with my mom for 2 weeks. But 2 weeks anywhere can get boring, and a giant mall planet definitely can. I got 4 new tattoos. I knew everyone. I was ready to redecorate the camp bathroom. I finally ditched my cell phone and ran off with a bored couple (woman and man) for some consentual non-consent play, abduction play, paired with shoplifting, a road trip and some wild sci-fi twists I don’t really remember.

Then I was literally grabbed out of the back of the van by alien gods who were going to kill me. They failed the first time so now they were gonna do it for real. I was terrified.

Then Thor. Motherfucking glorious beautiful Thor dropped out of the heavens and fucking saved me. It was all a plan to surprise me for my birthday. Chris Hemsworth then stripped out of his Thor costume and we went jogging and then swimming and then I woke up.

I’ve never been so disappointed to wake up. He was amazing. And gorgeous. And nice. So fucking nice. Omg.

Fetishes

I was browsing the internet (okay, one specific site and if you’re a member you’ll know which one) and I came across a fetish on someone’s profile.

to be spanked until you cry

This made my brain light up all the dopamine receptors because holy crap. This is my kink.

There’s a lot of “kinky” (I put kinky in quotes cause it really is subjective) things I would like to try, and quite a few I’m into, but this one is pretty non-sexual.

I strongly prefer a bare-bottom and bare-handed spanking, (I want that harsh, hot sting) hard enough to leave me shaking and in tears. After that I just want to be cuddled until I fall asleep. It’s a pretty simple thing, but most people won’t use enough force to put me in that place. That delicious, floaty, warm place.

It’s not as simple as just finding someone to do it though. I need to know that you know me well enough to judge what I need and how to administer it. And you need to be able to actually strike me hard enough to get the job done. I also need to have trust in you that you’ll take the time to offer aftercare and coddle me a bit afterwards.

That second bit is tough to get from a lot of vanilla people because they don’t understand that pain can be a really beautiful thing. And I get it. Plenty of people don’t like pain. Plenty of people don’t get turned on by it. I do. I love it.

Online Dating – A Genuine Attempt

I realized I have no idea how people even go about meeting people now. Like how do you find new people to date? Do they just appear? Do you throw a Pokeballâ„¢ at them and hope for the best? I’m just baffled by this whole meeting new people thing. And dating! Jesus. I’ve never really dated. I’ve slept with many people. I’ve had a few relationships. But I’ve pretty much bypassed dating completely.

I’m on a few dating sites. And I placed an ad on Craigslist (I know, I know, its the dregs of the internet.) which has had mixed results. I’ve received 4 random dick pics with no accompanying text to which I replied with a photo of my toes. Only one guy got the humor in a “random body part photo exchange.”

Anyway, last Wednesday I was supposed to have my first date. Super casual, meet at Sharky’s and shoot a few racks. Except he never showed up. I stayed for 90 minutes, shot 5 racks by myself, had a cheeseburger, and a beer. It was actually kind of fun. Turns out  that since he works nights, he neglected to set an alarm and overslept. I didn’t get mad but I was disappointed.

Friday night I’m going to a BDSM play party. Its my first one and I’m nervous, but I’m more nervous about wearing the wrong thing or something. I have no lingerie, no cute undies (I think I have one plain black pair but they’re still granny panties) so I’m thinking I’ll just go commando in my cute new jeans and wear the orange crochet lace top I sewed a few years ago. I’m not sure if I want to go sans bra or not. I know the hostess, and I’ve met a few of the other guests a few times but mostly its going to be people I don’t know at all. But so far all the kink-minded people I’ve met have been amazing. Kind, respectful, and friendly. So we’ll see.

Saturday I’m going to another party thrown by a friend’s parents. There will be people of all ages there, and most of them I won’t know. But I’m looking at it as another chance to meet people and maybe meet interesting people. I know some of them are kink-oriented as well to varying degrees.

Next Wednesday I have a tentative date in the planning with a man I met online, and possibly another one for the following Saturday. I’m excited and I’m nervous and I’m trying not to freak out. I could really use my therapist through this, but after I see her tomorrow, I won’t see her for almost a month. I would also like to try to plan something with the guy who flaked on me again, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen. He’s been a bit distant lately online.

Anyway, we’ll see how it all goes and hopefully at worst, I’ll have a good story to tell.