FML
That moment when you realize you accidentally donated your full body vinyl catsuit to Goodwill….
— 💖👑My Own Effin Princess👑🌈 (@debslosingit) May 18, 2017
Love
It cannot be bought,
but can be stolen with one glance.
Worthless to one,
priceless to two.
I Followed My Heart
This is pretty much my life.
Stolen from Death Wish Coffee.
The Greatest Adventure
Stolen from the lovely Wittneyshawnelle on Instagram.
Conversations with Chris
Me: Pukeboo!
Chris: Is that a Pokemon?
Me: It should be!
Chris: Right?
Me: Its fighting skill is surprise vomiting.
Chris: Oh so like a real Pokemon then?-
Conversations with Liz
Me: We came home to poop all over the living room.
Liz: Okay so like…
Me: It was still warm so she literally just did it.
Liz:Â I had to read that twice.
Me: Lol Omg no. We did not poop all over the living room! -
Conversations with Chris
Me: Mattie is being a butt and not letting me sleep so I got up. He’s asleep though. Like a flailing corpse.
Chris: So like a zombie…
Me: Yes a zombie with flying knees and elbows.
Chris: Is he all “Ugh! Zombie Mattie crave brains… and beards… and boobs! Zombie Mattie has complex wants and needs! Argh!” -
Conversations with Chris
Me: So did I show you my pussy? Damn it. My pussy hat.
Chris: You know I know you mean that women’s movement thing.
Me: Stupid phone. Making me sound dirty. I’m almost done with the second one someone is paying me money for.
Chris: I knew you would make money with your pussy. I’ve been saying it for years.
