It has come (rather rudely) to my attention that I really should not have gone off of my anti-depressants a year or so ago and that I have been slowly spiraling downwards since. I spent about half of the week following my return home from Washington on the edge of a major meltdown and I’ve spent the past few days calling Mental Health twice daily until they could move my appointment up to sometime this month. I haven’t been knitting, crocheting, or playing with clay. I just can’t make myself care about any of it right now. Tracy said she knew something was wrong when I stopped playing with my clay. She’s likely right that that was the first serious part of the decline. But that’s the thing about depression. You don’t always know when its happening until you’re so low you can;t see over the top of the pit any more. All of a sudden you realize you’re buried in this big deep hole with no daylight left in sight. The only good thing about having been here before is I know there is daylight beyond the rim and I know how and where to get help for it.
On a happier note, this is the yarn I ordered while on a great sale from Michael’s online.
Its a completely crappy phone picture, but you can see the gorgeous jewel tones of the colors. Why so much? Because when you buy from the Michael’s website, you have to buy in warehouse inner pack quantities. In the case of most of the yarns, that’s 3 skeins, but some are different.
Then as if I didn’t have enough new yarn, my mom got me this mess for my birthday via one of the warehouse’s employee only sales.
That’s 9 coordinating skeins of Bernat Mega Bulky, and three Big skeins of Loops & Threads Impeccable. I’ve got 2 other skeins of Mega Bulky already in my stash that will go with these colors, so I’m thinking its blanket time! There’s also 2 containers of air dry clay plus a slushie machine, all of which she got for about $20. 🙂
This though, BTW, is not a good Ben & Jerry’s flavor. The ice cream itself is alright but the caramel core is so salty its like brine. I might actually throw the rest of this pint in the trash and call it a loss.
On the 15th I have an appointment in Panarama City for my consultation about getting a tubal ligation. I’m not looking forward to the drive down there, and I hope I don’t have to pay for parking, but if all goes well it puts me one step closer to making sure I stay child-free! Yay! And yes, I know its permanent, and yes I’ve thought about it a lot. For about 20 years to be exact. If I could have had this done at 20 easily I would have.